The Fun Filled 251st Blog Post

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Defense lawyer:       Doctor, what makes you think that you are qualified to give opinion in this case?

Surgeon:                    I am the world’s greatest surgeon.

Defense lawyer:       Really? How can you say that?

Surgeon:                    I have to. I am under oath to speak nothing but the truth.

 

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Prof. M.K. Banerjee:         Name three greatest surgeons that you know.

New resident:                   In ascending order, Christian Bernard, Hamilton Bailey, 

                                          and Prof. M. K. Banerjee.

 

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      The professor gave a verbal blasting to the junior resident who had committed some mistake. As the junior resident was leaving, the professor muttered to himself, “The same to you”.

      The senior resident who was new to the unit overheard him and asked the meaning of it. The professor replied, “I was a junior resident once and I know what they think when they leave the room after receiving a blasting from the professor.”

 

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      The new junior resident was describing his first meeting with the Head of the Department. “He put out his hand and I went right up and shook it.”

      “Shook it!” exclaimed the senior resident. “You better leave the department right now. You should have licked it.”

 

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In surgery, the love triangle consists of the surgeon, his work, and himself.

 

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            A junior consultant was not promoted to higher rank because of his alcohol dependence. The Head of the department called him and said, “Listen son, if you will give up alcohol and start concentrating on your work, you can be soon promoted to the post of associate professorship and one day you may even become a professor like me.”

             The consultant replied, “Sir, when I drink, I feel like the Director of this hospital. Then why should I bother about becoming something as small as a professor.”

 

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“When I see you operating, I stand and wonder”, remarked the Professor.

“About how I operate so well?” asked the junior consultant.

“No. I wonder why you operate at all.”     

 

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Friend:           I never had the pleasure of meeting the head of your surgical                                   unit.

Junior resident:        What makes you think that it would be a pleasure?

 

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DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purposes. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use the information herein is at your one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal, and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Practice should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost. The author recommends that Medical Education should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient and students as foremost and according to NMC and other Board norms. 

 

The Burglars and the Doctor

Wife:           Wake up. There are burglars in the house.

Doctor:       Don’t worry. They will leave shortly when they discover that they are in a non-practicing doctor’s house.

 (Amusing Fiction or Bitter Truth?)

— ND

© Author. All rights reserved. 

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You can receive a notification on latest post by subscribing via clicking on the bottom of the page on the Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purposes. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use the information herein is at your one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Practice should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost. 

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purposes. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use the information herein is at your one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Education should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost and according to MCI and other Board’s norms. 

The End of Trouble

A man was suffering from cancer, but his relatives and doctor had not told him the expected outcome. 

When he lay dying he called his doctor and asked him, “Doctor, six months ago you had told me that my troubles were going to end soon. But here I am dying.”

 The doctor replied, “I had told you that your trouble will end and not that you are going to be cured. If you die, won’t your trouble also end?”

(Fictional)

— ND

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DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purpose and not belittle or make fun of doctors or cancer patients. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use the information herein is at your one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Practice should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost. 

The Operation Charges

Enough of the true incidences and life lessons; let me try to write some fiction for light Sunday reading.

The son of a famous surgeon completed his Mastery of Surgery (MS) from AIMS, New Delhi, (Fictional Name) and came back to work with his father, in their small hospital in their home town. 

The father who was a very experienced surgeon imparted this wisdom to his son.

The father said, ‘Son, you may have learned how to operate and treat the patient in AIMS, Delhi, but the most important part of private practice in  surgery is to know how to charge your patients for the operation.’

The father explained, ‘Suppose you want to charge Rs 25,000 for an operation. If a patient comes and asks about the charges of that particular operation, say it is Rs 30,000 and closely observe the patient.’

‘If the patient appears shocked and upset’, continued the father, say, ‘If you belong to economically weaker section of the society, then as public service I will give you discount of Rs 5,000 and you can pay just Rs 25,000 for the operation’ ‘Everyone, including patients love a good bargain, and you can also act as if you are not money minded or greedy’ explained the father.

‘If the patient does not appear shocked on hearing the charges then add, ‘That is only the surgeon’s charges; it will be Rs 30,000 extra for the Operation Theatre (OT) charges.’ 

‘If the patient still does not appear surprised,’ the father continued, say; ‘there will be also Rs 30,000, charges for the anesthetist and operation theatre’s nursing and paramedical staff.’ 

‘If the patient still appears cool and unfazed, add; ‘there will Rs 30,000 ward bed and nursing charges in addition to these charges.’ (The total now is Rs 1,20,000/-).

‘If the patient still appears serene’ continued the father, say; ‘you will also have to get investigations (tests) done before the operation which will cost you Rs 30,000’ (The total now is Rs 1,50,000/-).

 ‘If the patient still appears unperturbed, then add; you will have to deposit Rs 30,000 for medicines and other consumables items, such as syringes and gloves, during the ward stay.’ (The total now is Rs 1,80,000/-).

‘What to do if the patient still appears calm and placid on hearing this as we appear to have used up all the methods to increase the bill?’ inquired the son.

‘If anyone reaches till this level and still remains cool and calm then we will use our reserve golden card’ replied the father, ‘And we will say;  ‘there will be also Rs 30,000 for the ICU charges, where you will have to be kept immediately after the operation.’ (The total now is Rs 2,10,000/-).

‘What do if the patient still appears unworried and composed even after hearing this?’ asked the son.

The father sagaciously replied, ‘Then drop everything and immediately call a press conference and announce to the world that Bill Gates has come to your hospital to get operated!’

 

 (Entirely Fictional)

— ND

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DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purpose. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use of the information herein is at you one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Practice should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost. 

DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purpose. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use of the information herein is at you one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Education should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost and according to MCI and other Board’s norm.