The Cognizant Gift Giver

 

Holiday Season Special: Christmas is around the corner and it will bring with it the western world’s largest gift-giving season.

In India, it is usual to give ‘Mithai’ the traditional Indian sweets as a gift at times of festivals, on accomplishing something to express gratitude or happiness. Rich in sugar, giving ‘mithai’ symbolizes spreading sweetness in the recipient’s life.

Dr. Dev (fictional name) was sitting in his office when one of the junior resident doctors working in their department, came with a packet of ‘mithai’ or sweets. He had just finished and submitted his thesis. The junior resident doctor presented Dr. Dev with a box of ‘Kaju Katli’, an Indian sweet made with Cashews (Kaju in Hindi).

Dr. Dev took one piece from the box, congratulated the resident doctor on the successful completion of his thesis, and thanked him profusely. Then Dr. Dev gave the box of sweets back to him and asked him to take back the box and distribute the sweets in the hospital ward.

Once the resident doctor had left with the box sweets, Dr. AK (fictional name), who was also a junior resident in the surgery department, and was sitting along with Dr. Dev, asked, ‘Sir, why did you return the box of sweets to the resident who had bought the full box to give it to you?’

Dr. Dev replied, “Dear AK, it is conventional to distribute and give the gift of sweets/mithai to express happiness and gratitude, but the resident who had bought the sweets had not kept a few points in his mind:

Due to diabetes and fear of obesity many persons had given up eating sugary sweets and ‘mithai’. One piece is all they can safely eat. Now, instead of sweets if he had gifted dry fruits like fried Cashew nuts that would have been another matter. You can eat them without fear of raising your blood sugar even with diabetes. Also, these sweets or ‘mithai’ gets spoilt fast, so you cannot store them and eat them in small portions over a few days like dry fruits, chocolates, cookies, etc.” 

“Secondly, he had chosen ‘Kaju Katli’. I don’t know the fascination with this particular sweet in the medico’s circle including pharma company sales representatives. I, like many of my doctor acquaintances, receive this ‘Kaju Katli’ so many times that many of us have become sick and tired of it due to so much over-exposure. Many of my doctor friends when they receive a ‘Kaju Katli’ box, bought even from the best shops, don't even open it and taste even a single piece but pass it on, unopened, to their other friends and helpers. Even those who eat sweets or ‘mithai’ prefer a variety of sweets other than ‘Kaju Katli’ all the time. Many prefer to receive even less expensive sweets than the banal ‘Kaju Katli’. But alas, people stick to convention and do not think creatively while choosing the gift for others.”

“Thirdly, as he had gifted the sweets in my office in my official capacity, it is appropriate that I distribute them here in the hospital itself in my official working place. If he had given the gift at my house, then I would have considered it as more of a personal gift.”

A few months later, one evening, Dr. AK came to Dr. Dev’s house. Dr. Dev asked about the purpose of his visit. Dr. AK replied that he had completed his thesis and had come to pay homage to him for his help and guidance in completing this arduous task. Opening his duffle bag he removed and presented Dr. Dev with a gift-wrapped box from a very famous sweets/mithai shop in the city.

Dr. Dev thanked him and said that these sweets are not necessary as simple thanks are sufficient. At his insistence, Dr. Dev accepted the box while feeling inwardly dismayed that Dr. AK had spent so much money in buying the sweets from such an expensive shop but I will be eating only one or two pieces from it and the rest of it will go waste.

Dr. Dev kept the box aside but Dr. AK insisted that he open the box. When Dr. Dev opened the box, he was surprised to find that box was filled with salted fried cashew nuts instead of sweets or mithai.

Dr. Dev was impressed. Dr. Dev had forgotten his talk with Dr. AK, which had occurred long back. However, Dr. AK had remembered Dr. Dev’s preference and chosen his gift accordingly without paying heed to the convention of giving sweets on such occasions.

When you give a gift or present to someone choose it based on the receivers’ personal preferences and taste, especially health-related issues, instead of blindly following the convention or commonly accepted norms.

Also, keep in mind the person’s social and cultural milieu while choosing a gift.

When you give a gift to someone, they will act pleased out of courtesy, no matter what is their inner feeling. So to get a good idea of their likes and preferences observe them in their day-to-day life that what do they prefer. Observe them when others give a gift to them and especially afterward.

Be a cognizant gift giver rather than a blind convention follower.

— ND

(Based on allegedly true incident.)

© Author. All rights reserved. 

Tit-Bits — There is an increasing demand for dry fruits and nuts for corporate gifting in India. The dry fruit and nuts sales in India are estimated to be around $2 billion or INR 16000 Crore. India is number one in cashew consumption in the world.

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DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purposes. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use the information herein is at your one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal, and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Practice should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost. The author recommends that Medical Education should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient and students as foremost and according to NMC and other Board norms. 

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