The Senior Resident’s First Day

 

It is the 3rd of July. The time is 10.00 am. I am walking towards the Dept. of Surgery office to join as a senior resident. While walking my heart is beating wildly. I am feeling unsure of myself. I have not felt this way since I first entered the ward as an intern. Not even when I joined as a Junior Resident.

Why? The interns and the Junior Resident are workers to a large extent. They remind me of the poem by lord Tennyson – The Charge of Light Brigade. “They are not to question why/ They are but to do and die”.  The Senior Resident's job is not only to work but also to supervise the interns and the junior residents working under him. He has to make the day-to-day decisions in the wards. Decisions that can mean life and death for the patients. The wrong decision can mean the end of life for the patient and the career of the senior resident. I am feeling unsure of my ability to handle this new responsibility.

   With a beating heart and racing pulse I submitted my letter of joining to the clerk at the Dept. of Surgery office. I am asked to report to the Dept. of Emergency Medicine. I went to the Department of Emergency Medicine and reported to the faculty in charge of the casualty. My voice faltered as I introduced myself. I am asked to join the batch working in the casualty. I introduced myself to the other doctors in the batch and got down to the job. I found myself looking at the clock on the wall more than my patients. I just want the time to fly and my duty shift to end.

  Suddenly I realized that some new doctors had arrived in the casualty. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 1.35 p.m., five minutes past the time for my shift to end. I had not looked at the clock for the past 1 hour. The rush of patients demanding my attention in the casualty had had its effect. They left no place for the thoughts about my abilities, to make life and death decisions, to enter my mind.

It was time to give over, i.e. explain the status of the patients who were already in the casualty and seen by our batch, to the new evening duty batch of doctors. While giving over I noticed the ease and confidence the evening shift surgery senior resident was looking over the patients and their case sheets. Then I realized that even I was talking and explaining about the patients with the confidence to match his. While inside, my heart was still beating wildly. I realized that the senior residents, whom I have admired and hero-worshipped, must have felt what I am feeling now.

  The handing over is finally finished. With some reluctance, I walked out of the casualty, where I was reluctant to enter just a few hours ago.

 When we take on new responsibilities, some amount of inner turmoil is natural. It is up to us to handle this inner turmoil and project an outer confident picture to the world. Believe in your ability and the persons who have selected you to handle the new position.

Secondly, when fully engrossed in our work, all our doubts will simply disappear, and out will emerge a new and confident self.

— ND

(Based on allegedly true incident.)

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DISCLAIMER: This article is intended only for fun purposes. The author does not promote or recommend any behavior illustrated here or claim it to be useful. Use the information herein is at your one's own risk. Before trying to emulate or follow anything the reader is well advised to take into account ethical, moral, legal, and other considerations. The author recommends that Medical Practice should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient as foremost. The author recommends that Medical Education should be of the highest ethical and moral level keeping in mind the interest of the patient and students as foremost and according to NMC and other Board norms. 

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